HAS SOCIAL MEDIA LIBERATED WOMEN'S BODIES IN TERMS OF BEAUTY?
Appendix: Research Experiment - Reflective Journal
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The social media accounts used for this experiment can be found here:
My First Post
@fiona_beautifulideal – This post is my first try to fulfil what I view as beauty ideal. Looking at this post I feel like I don’t fully recognise myself. Firstly, I wearing a lot more make up than I normally do including false lashes and bright lipstick in an attempt to completely alter my appearance. My hair has also completely changed. For those who may be unaware my hair is naturally thick and curly so seeing in straight it almost doesn’t feel like myself. When I was younger, I didn’t like my hair and I feel that may be linked to the fact that most women online have straight or wavy hair. I never saw someone with hair like me so I felt that it wasn’t pretty or normal, so I am trying to reflect that here. I also feel that a common ideal is being able to wear different type of hair and make-up looks. Therefore, this was my first chance to experiment with that.
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In this post I also wanted to experiment with the different apps and ways you can edit your photos on your own phone. I was shocked by how many different features and ways to alter your appearance there was. It was also so easy to do and easy to get caught up in changing the way you look to the point where I didn’t realise how much I had changed my appearance. I could brighten my eyes, change my face shape, hide spots, smooth my skin, and even make myself look my tanned. It made me question how many people are editing photos and we don’t notice.
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After
@fiona_realdeal – This account is going to represent what I view as the real me. What I mean by that is I want it to seem like I could of stopped at any moment and taken a picture. This first post starts of simple by showing something most of us do but we don’t post to everyone as its often viewed as unflattering, putting on a face mask. In order to keep this natural I also have not fixed my hair, not tried to cover any spots I have, I’m wearing comfy clothes, and this is the first and only picture I took. I didn’t want to overthink about how I look. Personally, I don’t post pictures on my account without makeup as I view that as the best version of me. Therefore, this post was a good first step in representing another side of me.
My Second Post
@fiona_beautifulideal – My second post on this account I decided to get some inspiration from people I believe portray beauty ideals and the content they post online. In my own opinion and inspired by some discussions with friends on mine we talk about the Kardashian/Jenner family and how they are some of the most followed people on Instagram and how we believe they often help shape and portray some of the beauty standards we see online. Kendall Jenner at the time of writing this has 271 million followers on Instagram. So, I decided to try and recreate her post.
Once again, I wanted to explore further the use of phone apps to edit myself. I had a conversation with a close friend of mine this week, someone I have known since I was very young. She told me that she didn’t even recognise me in the first post to my Instagram and she almost scrolled straight past it. She admitted like me that it’s scary how easy it can be to manipulate your appearance. Therefore, I decided to see how much I can make myself look like Kendall Jenner. So, I tried to copy her make up look by contouring my face which is used to define my cheek bones and also eyeliner and false lashes to highlight my eyes and a similar shade of lip-gloss. I am not as skinny as the supermodel so one of the first things I wanted to edit was a creation of a more defined waist but then I also edited my face to make it seem more petite and a define jawline.
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After
@fiona_realdeal – This post was inspired my two things. Firstly, I talked before about how when I was younger, I disliked my curls but as I got older I tried to embrace them. Then I saw the Kendall Jenner post which implies someone getting ready. Therefore, I started thinking about what I do to get ready to go out specifically with my hair. This inspired this post. What I
look like before I make myself “beautiful”. A photo without make-up where I’m not hiding my spots, my hair isn’t styled, and my eyebrows are not shaped to perfection. Showing that not every aspect of getting ready fits this beauty ideal. I stuck again to rules I’m continuing throughout this project for this account. I get take one photo and that is it because that is the real version of me. I will admit I thought posting with no make-up and being my raw self was going to be intimidating and scary. However, there is an aspect of it that I feel quite empowering and liberating. I feel like I’m saying to the world of Instagram this is me – like it or don’t like it I don’t care but this is me!
How I feel so far….
So far, this experiment has been a mixture of emotions. The more I photoshop my own images the weirder I feel. Currently, I have only edited my photos with only free apps I get on my phone which are easily accessible to anyone. It was also easy to get caught up in editing myself to where I hadn’t realised how much I had changed my appearance. Then I started thinking. If I can edit myself so easily without experience in photoshop then how much editing photos from celebrities who have professionals editing photos go through. It has made me question further the reality of social media and what were the before pictures of what we feel online. It’s weird. A lot of us aware that we all present the best versions of ourselves on social media but what lengths do are people prepared to go to make this perfect self.
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However, on my other account I have begun to feel empowered, and it believe that it is a real representation to me. When I photoshop images and look at them it doesn’t always feel like I’m look at myself. However, posting without make up, or hair done has a certain vulnerability to it. That vulnerability is empowering because I’m presenting myself to others and accepting that however I look is ok.
My Third Post
@fiona_realdeal – This week my post was inspired by @skinwithsoph who posts about acne in order to destigmatise it. Many people suffer with spots when going through puberty in their teens and it’s made out to be a very unattractive thing particularly when you turn into adulthood and are still suffering with it. I personally struggled with acne for a very long time. Throughout my teens I think I tried every method possible to get rid of it and every make-up brand to hide it. The only thing that seemed to work was my medicated spot cream however even now I will suffer from the occasional break out. I think Sophie Dove’s post and accounts similar are inspirational. Teenage me and even adult me finds a lot of comfort in someone who understands your insecurities. You’re not going to have perfect skin all the time and it’s nice to feel like what others may view as imperfections are normal.
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If I had someone like Sophie Dove to look up to in my teens it would have made me feel more confident and it made me feel confident enough to post my own spots. Before this I would never post something online displaying any spots. It was a big insecurity of mine and something I was scared and wanted to avoid doing in this experiment. Seeing someone else you can relate to made me feel confident to post and write this sharing my own acne story. Something I never thought I could do. It’s made me quite proud of myself and emotional. I’m getting a bit teary eyed thinking how far I have come in confidence even from the beginning of this experiment.
@fiona_beautifulideal – This probably shattered my confidence. When I look at this, I just don’t see myself, I just see what I sometimes wished I looked like. Slimmer, more tanned, better make-up, no spots, the list goes on. Editing pictures and considering what you wish you looked like is dangerous and makes me feel insecure because I’m never going to look like that. I look this way and I must learn to love and accept that. It feels like some kind of dysphoria where I can’t figure out where real me is and where the perfect social media me ends. When I’m editing its like it’s blurring my reality of what I look like. I’m glad this is only an experiment because I think if I edited my pictures this much all the time. I would end up a depressed and self hating person. It makes me question is other people seeing you look perfect more important than your own wellbeing?
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After
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@fiona_beautifulideal – I wanted to experiment with the different ways you can post on social media now just in your main feed. Therefore, I created pictures for an Instagram story. I feel as though I’m beginning the get hang of how to edit on my phone apps and I am beginning to be able to push myself further and manipulate my looks more. One of the few glamourous things I like doing is getting my nails done so I felt this was a good opportunity for a photo. I wanted to appear provocative. I feel like many posts online have to find the balance of being sexy without trying to be sexy. I think I found that here. I’m trying to be sexy without trying to be. It is meant to look effortless when it is far from it. I don’t think I have ever put more effort into posting online and I didn’t understand what a huge process there must be to create certain images online. It includes:​
Before
Experimenting With Instagram Stories
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​Pick an outfit
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Decide on make-up
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Put on said make up
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Style the hair
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Find a place for a photo
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Set up lighting (I use a ring light)
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Take about 50 different photos with varying angles and facial expressions
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Pick the best photo
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Experiment with the different 3 photoshop apps I have and various features
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Choose a caption and Upload
After
@fiona_realdeal– I think this post on my story is a bit random. This photo was me washing the make-up off my face and looking a bit of a mess, but I think that is the point. When I don’t care about the way I look I think my personality comes through more. I can post thing that are silly and try to be funny. It feels freeing. It feels like I’m just being myself and you are seeing a relaxed version of me. A part of me that only close friends would see. It feels liberating.
My Fourth Post
@fiona_beautifulideal -This was an interesting one to make. It was inspired by the followed women on Instagram: Kylie Jenner. She has over 379 million followers on her account and this photo has over 3 million likes. She is arguably the most influential person on social media. So I tried to copy her. However, I do not have some of the luxuries of Kylie Jenner. Such as a grand staircase in my house but it was still a weird one to try and make yourself look like someone so famous. I copied her makeup and elements of her hair which have to be different to what I have posted before but I felt like I needed to have some flexibility to create a post that was believable as me. I think the key thing to remember is this account is inspired by people like Kylie Jenner, but I will never be her.
Apart from copying hair and make-up I think the key thing that inspired the photoshopping behind this post is the Kardashian/Jenner body. I feel the women have made a trademark out of their bodies. Of the slim waist and curves that is in my opinion almost unachievable in real life. The Kardashian/Jenner women may be able to access things like personal trainer, cosmetic surgery, or maybe just good genes but I don’t have that. I don’t have a body like them, but I wanted to manipulate myself like they did. Therefore, I moved away from the facial beauty ideals I focused on my body.
I question if maybe I went too far on the photoshop on this post but I’m not sure. It was easy on this post to keep pushing, like an addiction. But how do we define what is too much photoshop. How do I define where I begin and the social media version of me ends? Maybe when I don’t even begin to recognise myself?
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After
@fiona_realdeal – One of the things I was insecure about when creating my @fiona_beautifulideal was the rolls on my tummy that were obvious in my dress and where I sat. In my other post I have tried to edit them out but here I wanted to embrace them. I have rolls. Many people in life have rolls. It is a very normal thing so why is it I felt so insecure about them. It’s weird when you think about being insecure about something that most people have. Why would you’re rolls be viewed as gross? What makes you different? It’s normal so let’s normalise it!
My Fifth Post
@fiona_beautifulideal – This was another post which I tried to recreate another influential social media personality. I’ve been looking for something that is easy to recreate and looks simply but I feel has a lot of effort put into it. On this time, I copied Kim Kardashian. When I think of influential people in female beauty, I immediately think of the Kardashian which is why they have probably inspired most of my posts. Then when you see that Kim Kardashian has over 344 million followers on Instagram alone it begins to make sense
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I feel as though that heavily editing posts can become a habit. That it’s easy to become addicted to thinking about how you can manipulate you’re looks. It feels like I’m becoming desensitised to it. In the beginning it was shocking and emotional to look at a photo and see how different I look but now I feel like I’m losing these emotions. I also found that when I took this photo, I hated it. It just didn’t feel flattering but the moment I started editing it then I began to like the photo. I don’t know what that says about how I feel about my appearance, but it just surprised me how I could go from hating a photo to loving how I look after 5 minutes in photoshop. It feels normal and I can see how once you start it can become hard to stop.
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After
@fiona_realdeal – This was inspired by a trend that was popular in my teen years and was first interaction of people admitting online how they manipulate there looks. It was a half make-up, half no make-up trend. It was the first time I felt I saw celebrities and people I followed or viewed as beautiful showing elements of imperfections like spots and shorter eye lashes. It made me begin to question what I saw online, and I felt like I saw someone I related to instead of someone I should try and look like. It was empowering and I wanted to recreate that. It shows that people challenge what they see online and allowed an insecure teen me work toward feeling more confident. Demonstrating liberation.
My Sixth Post
@fiona_beautifulideal – For today’s post, I posted two pictures at once. This is simply because I edited both pictures and felt that I wanted to document my editing and work in both. I found it interesting how one post is moodier and serious but the other is smiley. In this post I also went a little more casual than I have for others. Meaning I don’t look quite as glamourous and formal, but I feel I’m still portraying the beauty ideal but just more what the everyday beauty ideal looks like. I feel I often think of beautiful ideals as being super formal and glamourous going out to parties or events, but they can be more casual meaning that as people we relate to them and strive for beauty in even our everyday lives.
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Before
After
After
Once again I edited my pictures to the extreme. I found an interesting function on one app called magic. With one click it transforms you into more tanned, clearer skin, whiter teeth and much more. Interesting how even an app knows how to alter your appearance to make you “beautiful”. It feels weird that a literal computer programme is telling how I should look.
I found when I was editing, I kept getting lost. Distracted between what is the before and what is the after. The more I edit the more I feel myself getting sucked into the habit of thinking “I can just edit it later” and getting confused between what I look like and what the “perfect” version of me does. I’m becoming desensitised to what editing can do to an image. It makes me feel quite sad looking at the old photos and thinking are these photos of me not beautiful.
@fiona_realdeal – I always post this post after my “beautiful” post because it helps remind me who I am and I don’t feel so depressed picking out all my imperfections and fixing them. I feel like I get to look at my post and go “yep their I am!” It makes me feel better because that’s what I look like and I feel like, I’m learning to accept that even the unflattering photos are beautiful. It makes me feel empowered and comforted. In this account I feel like I can be funny. Show a bit more of my personality without fear of being judged. So, I have me showing everyone why you NEVER brush curly hair.
Before
My Seventh Post
@fiona_beautifulideal – In this post I wanted to explore how I would edit pictures of myself that I have already posted on social media. Comparing how present myself against how I believe other influencers and the masters of social media. This post felt a lot easier to make. Its surprising how difficult and time consuming it is to stop your day and take fifty different photos just to make sure you have the perfect picture to post on social media.
I still feel as the further I explore editing photos the more desensitised I get to the shock of how different I look. It is like a weird dysphoria or illusion. It makes me question what is wrong with the picture on the left? What is wrong with the way I look? I feel like its clear that it can become a vicious cycle believing the way I look needs to be edited to look perfect.
After
@fiona_realdeal – I feel that a lot of people use work out selfies to show off their bodies on social media. Which is obviously fine and their choice but I never see what they actually look like after the workout? Also I feel like I see very few girls with a full face of make-up on at the gym so why do you wear make-up in your gym clothes online? It is something that never made sense to me. So I decide to challenge these posts with the reality of what I and many people look like after the gym. Exercise is good for you! If I’m sweating after a workout then I should be proud because I pushed myself. So why shouldn’t I show off that I work hard in the gym even if I may not look attractive doing it. I am proud of my workout and proud of posting unfiltered posts online.
My Eighth Post
@fiona_beautifulideal - This post was inspired by my post from last week in the gym and my attempt to make a "perfect" and "beautiful" version of this. It was interesting to edit my face with no make-up on and create a post that was not as glamourous but was still trying to look attractive. I feel like a lot of the appeal with this post comes from the editing and I feel like I can see a much bigger difference when editing this post. It is one of the few pictures where I feel personally I can identify where my own looks and reality begin and the editing begins. Again I can see this continued reliance I feel on editing pictures to look pretty. Clearing spots, giving myself a tan and making myself look skinnier. It's very easy to slip into the mindset of believing pictures can be fixed in editing. I could easily keep editing my pictures and push the boundaries.
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After
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I feel like when I have been creating this account I have been focused of posting things many wouldn't dare post online. All in effort to show the "real me". However, "Bereal" has allowed me to recognise that I still am me in make up and dresses just as much as I am in my gym clothes. I feel like this has allowed me to capture a range of form of me. Including adding personality with activities, friends and pets. I can see how someone could abuse this to hide elements of themselves such as posting late. I also found I could cover my face with my hand to hide my spots without even realising. Showing an element of my insecurities and me trying to hide a part of me too.
However, I feel BeReal had allowed me to succeed with this idea of having an account that has photos of me from random parts of my day. All of which are me. It feels nice to recognise that their are different parts of me and I can show them all online - from the going out make up the the sweaty gym selfie.
@fiona_realdeal - This post explored a different kind of social media, BeReal. This platform works through users receiving a notification at a random time once a day saying 'Time to BeReal'. This opens up a two-minute window for the user to post a picture of themselves on their front phone camera and what they are currently doing on their rear phone camera. However, if you want to post later you can and retake pictures you can also do that. However, it tells your friends how late you posted and how many retakes it took. All in an effort to capture a more authentic representation of your life.
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My Ninth Post
@fiona_beautifulideal - In my post today I have decided to explore filters that are on social media which are used to change someone's face instantly. It can add make up, hide blemishes, change your face shape and smooth you're skin. It is weird how easy and common it is to change you're appearance online. It makes me question everything I see online and also question how is everyone not fully aware of it. It feels very depressing having a you're phone automatically improve you're appearance in an instant. However, its clear also there is an agreed formula to be beautiful or else people wouldn't make or use beautifying filters.
@fiona_realdeal - This photo was inspired as a before the filter. These pictures were taken minutes apart and I look very different in both. I do feel when I take pictures without make up and less edited I tend to be more smiley and have more personality. It was also inspired by the ideas of BeReal that I don't have to be actively trying to look unattractive on this account. That an unedited selfie with no make up smiling is still me. It feels more realistic and liberating. and It does feel more like me.
